Instant Noodles
by Thorn In Your Side
Summary: What happens when you give a culinarily challenged baker cooking lessons? Well, whatever it is, its not good...and its going to give Kawachi a headache.


Instant Noodles

**Instant Noodles**

**Disclaimer: I own-eth not-est the manga/anime called-eth Yakitate! Japan!**

**Author's Notes: this is set at the Pantasia Southern Branch Store. In the kitchen type thing in the back? Yeah. **

**Summary: What happens when a culinary challenged baker tries to cook? Well, whatever it is, it's not good. And it's going to give Kawachi a headache. **

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

_"Come on Azuma, I'm gonna teach you how to cook!" _

_"Oh goody! Then I can help you make breakfast at home huh, Kawachi?"  
_What an unbelievably stupid impulse to have.

_You can't teach an old dog new tricks they say,_ Kawachi thought glumly_, But it's probably easier than teaching this little fool to cook._

Azuma grinned like a wolf caught stealing a lamb, all charm and innocuous guile. The kitchen looked like it was the sole survivor of a series of natural disasters: clumps of rice were everywhere, and miso paste was smeared around like some weird type of war paint. The citrus sting of failure hung in the air mournfully.

"Maybe you weren't ready to make onigiri," Kawachi suggested, "Let's start with something small, like…instant noodles!"

"Okay, instant noodles, yay!" enthused the dark haired boy.

"First, go run down to the store and get a packet of ramen," Kawachi instructed, "I'll clean up in here."

"Okay Kawachi," Azuma trilled, rushing by.

Nearly an hour later, he ran back in.

"What the hell took you so long?"

"I got lost," Azuma said sheepishly.

Kawachi blinked. "What? But…the store's just around the corner!"

"So how do you make noodles?"

"Question dodger," Kawachi accused, "Okay, get a small pot and fill it with water."

"Got it!" Azuma called out, waving a giant wok around, "Oh!" the vessel flew out of his hands—"Whoops!" –sailed through the air—"Whoa!"—clonked Kawachi on the head—"Ouch!"—and clattered onto the floor.

"Kawachi! Are you alright?!"

"Owwww," the blond groaned, "Ow no I'm not go get me some ice, idiot!"

Biting his lip worriedly, the shorter boy complied, watching as his friend held the napkin wrapped ice to the swelling on his head, closing his eyes with a sigh.

"I'm sorry," Azuma said softly. Kawachi appraised him with one eye. "It's okay. Now, go get something less _**dangerous**_, fill it with water."

"Got it!" he shouted.

"Next," Kawachi commanded, "Put in the ramen…yes. Then turn on the stove and set it on medium." He left the boy to fetch more ice for himself, and heard a loud shriek.

"What? What?" he asked hurrying back into the kitchen to find the dark haired baker teary eyed, holding up his hand dolefully, "I burnt myself!" he wailed.

Kawachi steered him to the next room. "Relax, it doesn't look too bad we'll just get you some first aid."

Azuma sniffled as the blond applied a salve, deftly bandaging the burn. "You're lucky it's not serious," he scolded, "All you had to do was light the stove, how could you burn yourself? Careless!"

"I'm lucky I have you to take care of it," Azuma smiled winningly.

"Lucky you," Kawachi snorted, smiling back nonetheless, "Let's go check on that ramen."

"Um, yeah, I kinda spilled it all when I burnt myself…" the bread genius giggled nervously. His friend groaned. "Fine, let's go buy some more."

They got several extra packets just in case, and this time Kawachi supervised closely as the smaller boy lit the stove and heated the water to a boil.

"Okay I think it's done, take a taste," Azuma declared. Kawachi dipped a pair of chopsticks in and tried it.

"AH!! HOTTTT!!"

A few minutes of panicking and many gulps of ice water later, Kawachi had calmed down enough for them to turn their attention back to the ramen…

…which had been burnt to cinders.

"Um, we have extra packets," Azuma reminded his best friend cautiously, "Don't freak out…"  
"I'm not gonna freak out what makes you think that I would freak out I wouldn't freak out I'm calm I don't freak out over something like this that's just silly I'm an afro I'm not surprised at anything what on earth makes you think I'd just freak out I DON'T FREAK OUT—"

"Kawachi?"

"Yeah?"

"You're freaking out."  
"Damn."

The shorter boy handed him a brown paper bag, eyes gleaming with an odd mixture of amusement and concern. "Breathe…breathe…"

"Okay…I'm calm…okay…calm…"

_Third time's the charm,_ Kawachi's inner voice said nastily_, Idiot._

"Hats off to the chef," the blond said, setting the table for them, "You finally made ramen!"

"It was hard work," Azuma said, serving him, "But with a teacher as good as you, I was bound to succeed!"

They beamed at each other, and were about to dig in when…

"Oh, thank god I'm home!" Tsukino sighed, bursting in through the door, "School was a nightmare! I'm starving—aw, did you make that ramen for me?" she smiled lovingly at Azuma, taking his bowl, "Oh, Azuma-san, you're too sweet!"

"Baldy!!" Suwabara roared, storming in, "Get your ass out here, we need you to help!" he barked, dragging Kawachi away by his collar.

"B-but the r-ramen!"  
"Work first, food later! That's the way of the samurai!"

"That reminds me," Tsukino said, ignoring the cries of "I'm not a freaking samurai!" having already finished her meal, "We need to go flour shopping!" she proceeded to pull Azuma away from the table.

"B-but the r-ramen!"  
"We'll get you something to eat outside, Azuma-san, don't be so whiny!"  
Mushroom Head watched them go, and pounced on the abandoned bowl of noodles.

"Fufufufu, finally!" he cackled, "an advantage to being the ignored one!"  
**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

**-huggles Mushroom Head plushie apologetically- I'm so sorry I couldn't remember your name!!**


End file.
